Guitar - Banjo - Harmonica - Sax - Clarinet - Bass - Traps

Creator!

Conductor, paymaster, founder member and beloved mentor, "Sgt" Beasley plays a multitude of instruments with equal facility. But this has not deterred his dedication to the somewhat futile objective of improving the quality of the band's performance. It is entirely due to his efforts that the band, from its raw, untutored beginnings, has been honed and polished to its present height of near mediocrity.  Also renowned for his skilful sacking of superfluous bandsmen.

Stringbean (John Cumming)

Vocals - Kazoo -  Washboard - Elephant Horn - Slide Whistle - Tambourine 

Co - Collaborator and creator  

The original renditioner of the rambling introduction and a true revelation amongst vocalists. To hear this vibrant, dynamic, new voice in full cry, untrammeled by the fetters of finesse or musical taste, is an experience not easily forgotten. Known to beat his arms in the air like an seagull on speed, was also the first man to wrestle hamsters live on stage.

Banjo - Guitar - Jug - Trumpet - Tuba

Joined 1970

One of the most original banjo players to hit the scene in recent years, Lips is a true innovator. He feels music has, for too long, been bogged down by the stifling traditions of rhythm, harmony and melody. In eliminating these elements from his playing, he is constantly breaking new ground in musical expression. Despite the conductor's best efforts the "denim deviant" has yet to been rooted out. Has yet to master playing and standing at the same time.

Guitar - Electric Guitar - Mandolin

Joined 1970

Anyone who has seen the the band perform will know that when the "Axeman" steps forward to take a solo, this means instant excitement. His hands can coax sounds from his instruments which would make even guitar virtuosi shake their heads in disbelief. This guy really knows what living the blues is really like having lived in Shard End for most of his early years. 

Piano, Harp

Joined 1996

Young Dr Groove Green has been tickling the ivories ever since he acquired his first organ, a 'Thomas', at the age of 16.
Since then he has played with such stalwarts of the Midlands beat scene as Terraplane, Valhalla, Climax Blues Band, Video, and Steelhouse Blues Band. A few years ago he stumbled across the Armpits (as they were stumbling out of a pub) and has been with them ever since.
Contrary to the deluded stage announcements of vocalist Stringbean, he is not a real doctor, but has the honorary title 'doctor of rhythm' bestowed on him by the Groove Club of Great Britain.